Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
