i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize