party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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