Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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