I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
