That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
