so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
