im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize