Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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