sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
