your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
