I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
