Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
