i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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