Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I need moral support for this bender
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
