Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
