yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
