Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize