listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
