the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
