At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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