Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
