i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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