Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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