Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
