in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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