Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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