those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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