Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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