Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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