We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
