The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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