Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
