You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
