Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He did a backflip because drugs
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
