Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
