he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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