those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
