Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
