and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
