my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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