If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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