can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
