i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
