You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
