1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
