even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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