Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
