My nipple is on Facebook.
now i know why i became what i already was.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
