i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
