3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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