he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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