just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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