Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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