We named our party play list daddy issues
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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