my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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