i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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