Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize