I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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