She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
