He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
my liver is dry heaving
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
