I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize