i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
