think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
